Enough is enough.

Ok. I want to remain calm, composed and polite, but it is hard. I love my job. Really I do. I am so happy that I came down south to work for the year. I just feel frustrated with the way things are handled at work. (As I told a new found friend on a street corner in Jerusalem not two weeks ago, there are some times when I should just bite by cheek and shut up, but I simply can't do it tonight. I don't have the strength.)

I received a letter the other day. It was essentially racist propaganda explaining why Palestinians have no right to (any) land. I was driving when I was opening my mail (well, i was at a red light) when I got blinded by this blatant and offensive piece of trash. AHHHHHH! The guy behind me honked because I zoned out I was in such shock. Let me give you some excerpts:

"As a strictly legal matter, the Jews didn't take Palestine from the Arabs; they took it from the British, who exercised sovereign authority in Palestine under a League of Nations mandate for thirty years prior to Israel's independence in 1948. And the British don't want it back."

It then runs through, in a page, the history of who controlled the land in question. It concludes:

"Palestine was administered by the British under the Palestine Mandate, the ultimate purpose of which according to the Balfour Declaration, was the establishment of a Jewish national home in Palestine."

I'm sorry, but: false.

And, my personal favorite, "The Arab claim to sovereign rights west of the Jordan is only humored today because of a fatal combination of the world need for Arab oil, leftist Political Correctness that has cast the Israelis as "oppressors", and of course, good old Jew-hatred."

So, everyone, when I mentioned before that I live in the luney-bin, I wasn't kidding. Only, some of the craziness I love and some of it I just can't stand. The person who gave me that article is most commonly described with the following words: Republican, rich, and Zionist. Maybe I don't agree or follow his/her thinking because I lack two of those descriptors. I just don't know.

Several things have happened over the last few weeks that have, well, been pretty soul-crushing. I learned about a complete abuse of a friend's rights by the Israeli security forces (why oh why can't Israel just FINALLY draft a bill of rights!?!) I don't feel I can say what has been happening here, but much of it is unsettling to me and I have seriously thought over the last week that I need to withdraw from the program I am planning to attend because I just can't work for another Jewish institution. But...

Things are never quite as they seem...each day for me here is a succession of events one after the other from two very different categories. While the first, which I described above, is sad and upsetting, the second is more uplifting than any other work I have done. Let me give you some examples to illuminate those shades of grey I dwell in...

On Thursday I went to our last home track meet of the year. I have been announcing...I don't know why anyone would put me on a mic...but it happens a lot for some reason..."Up now we have our second heat of the women's 200 meter dash, third call for men and women's 4x2 relay. Down on the in-field please, yes that means you, why thank you..." During one of the heats for the men's 200 dash one of the freshmen was almost to the finish line when he was passed by an opponent in the next lane. I saw that split second decision when he decided he was going to rank - he wasn't going to give up. He stood taller, his eyebrows drew in and he bent forward at the last moment and took 3rd place instead of falling below ranking. He even did a little dance at the end. It was only a small triumph, I suppose, but to him it was a very big deal. For me too. It is a blessing to be there with and for the students as these events happen. It has really been keeping me going lately as I struggle with staying positive in an environment that can at times be oppressingly negative to work in.

And tonight was the production of our school musical. We put on "The Apple Tree". I was a stage manager with two of the students. It was fun. The kids rocked it. The feeling was much in the same realm as the track meet moment. I ran around in all black - fixing ripped costumes as they ran towards the stage, almost getting crushed by gigantic props, striking...everything was so rewarding. To be a part of it with them - to watch them succeed and have fun doing it was inspiring. It is times like these that I remember why I am here - and I realize how unimportant the other stuff is...most of it anyway.

this is holy work, in the end, it really is. I love my girls...I will miss them. One of them had a birthday today. we had cake. whenever we eat baked goods they check to make sure i didnt bake them...it is kinda sad really...i am known as the bad baker in these here parts:) I accept the label gracefully.

Only two more days till break. Montreal, don't worry, I am coming - I'll be there Friday to live it up once again. Barfly bluegrass night, tam tams, chu chai, nasal quebeqer accents, great live music, old memories, good friends, the botanical gardens, good shopping (ris drools at the thought of the aldo outlet on mt. royal...yes, mom, i have a shoe fetish), the list goes on...good times behind and better ones yet to be had.

Sorry for the long post. I had to vent - about both the good and the bad. I like this blog thing...it is nice to get the emails from so many of you saying that you are enjoying the posts. Much love. 2:30 now and I have a morning rehearsal with the Sinai Mountain Ramblers - the first time I am performing a Yiddish song. I am a little nervous. I'll let yall know how it goes.

laila laila.

Countdown to Israel: less than three months.