back over the atlantic they go.

i am sad that my mom and pops are now heading to the airport for home, but I am excited to get back to my friends and my studies. i went to a nice party this evening and celebrated 2007 with some of my closest friends here in J-town.

The adventures on our trip were many, and i think my parents had a great time gettin down in the holy land. more to come of our mischief in a few days. here are a few pictures to start.

happy new year to all...this time of year for me, for many years, has represented a reminder of how precious the ones we love are and how serendipitous and beautiful it is that we are lucky enough to find them in our lives at all. may this be a year full of blessings...i hope life blows your hair back...or at least messes it around a bit. but as an Israeli friend wished me this year (if you feel it is more of what you need), may your year be very VERY boring.

hugs, kisses, etc.

my parents are flying.

thats right. my mom and pops are in the air right now heading to Israel. I can't wait...haven't been able to stop smiling all day. I have been playing travel agent for months now and I can't wait until they are finally here! i won't be posting much over the next few weeks because they will be keeping me busy. I did go away for shabbat last week to a town called Hoshaya where I was hosted by a family. It was a very interesting and enjoyable experience and I will try to post on it during that time, but if not I will for sure do it after they leave. I hope that all is well with those of you on the other side of the Atlantic. i hug you all. big.

a state of harmony and discord.

I have made some major changes to my schedule after realizing that I didn’t want to go to several of my classes most of the time and that I didn’t have time to devote enough of myself to where I felt I needed to. I went from the third level to the second – I like the teaching methods of the teachers better and I can actually take time to chew on the bigger questions they pose rather than spending the whole time translating. One of my previous teachers wasn’t willing to try to bring the class to a common ground – to meet in the middle so to speak – so I decided to take my own steps to get it into a middle ground – I took myself out of it. I was for sure on the lower end of the spectrum of experience with text. I am happy for it. I was passed out in bed yesterday at about 7:45 and was fully set on staying in bed and getting to school late…I am getting more and more exhausted as the year progresses….but then I remembered what we had talked about last class and I knew we were continuing. I felt like I was left sitting on the edge of my chair last time and the thought of missing Torah roused me quickly and energetically out of bed! My days here are long, as I might have said, but they are getting better by the day. I also stopped taking one of my one-hour pre-lunch classes so I can work on my Hebrew ulpan homework. I read a passage by Amos Oz in Hebrew this week…he is a very famous Israeli author who has many books, and many (all?) translated into English. I could hardly believe that I could do it…

So, things have gotten a lot better in my spirit and my classes these days….here are some things I learned recently that you might find interesting…just to give you a taste of the breadth of my lessons during the day…

A chasidic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism) niggun traditionally has three parts.

Most sources in Jewish law (a rich literature, called halacha, in and of its own right that includes sources that have responded to the needs of the Jewish people and its questions about any issue that you can imagine…it includes everything from the Bible, Oral Torah, and on down through history) conclude that women are obligated in prayer. The significance of that discussion is that if they are of equal obligation to men (which many, if not most, sources of traditional Jewish law hold they are) then they can lead prayer. The question is then why traditional forms of Judaism don’t have this as their normative practice.

In Torah there is a strong connection/parallel between the garden of eden and the Mishkan/Tabernacle where the priests made sacrifices to God. In Genesis 3 the first man and women are kicked out of the garden for eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Angels/cherubim are placed on the outside of the garden (east of eden…sound familiar to anyone?:) to guard it because humans can no longer be trusted and they are no longer allowed to eat of the tree of life. Radak (one of the commentators that I often am assigned to read) says that they are placed there to bring the humans to do teshuva (repentance). He says it works…and that they are then sometimes allowed back in the garden and sometimes they are not. I was not so convinced or happy with this idea. I think of teshuva as something which brings you to a new place…not something which brings you back to who you were. The process of erring and then doing teshuva, literally “returning” to a good way, does not mean you go back to being the same person…but someone who has changed for the better…is made improved through this difficult process. But another idea that was brought by my teacher made it a much more feasible explanation: in a later book, Ezekiel, there is imagery that compares the tabernacle to the garden of eden. I won’t get into all the details now, but just one example: in the center of the garden is the tree of life…there is increasing holiness: the earth, the garden, the tree of life. And so it is in the tabernacle – in the center of the mishkan is the holy of holys which houses the ark in which sits the ten commandments and the earthly heaven of God….big ideas yes…but the main point I want to show is that the temple, and the mishkan before it and I would say even by extension modern shuls today, are human ways of recreating the ideal which was lost…by creating these spaces we try to get back to the ideal, back to eden. It is the idea of human ability to create holiness, to find holiness, to dwell in holiness – by our own actions and intent – that I find moving. I haven’t thought about it very very deeply yet, but it seems like another motif, another theme that runs the course of Jewish experience; I think it as strong a motif as redemption, freedom, struggle, wandering, justice, mercy, returning…the list could extend on I know.

Just a few thoughts from one of my days. I have found it hard to write because so much happens every day…and I don’t mean I am running from place to place, but that my mind is. A friend of mine this week gave a 5 minute speech about his Jewish hero and one thing he said I also feel very strongly…that while he can’t say he has one in particular…there are Jewish heroes made in front of my eyes every day when I study…a day doesn’t pass when I am not amazed at the insights of my peers, when my teachers don’t weave a lesson that leaves my mind humming until the next chord is struck…all humming along in beautiful unison and harmony and sometimes even discord...until they fades with my consciousness as I fall of to sleep. And to sleep, dear beloved ones, is where I head now. The talmud says that sleep is 1/60 of death...funny, eh?

WARNING: I AM TOO TIRED TO EDIT, SO I HOPE THIS WAS NOT TO RANDOM:)!

Gettin around down south...

I don’t know how to begin, partly because I feel badly that I haven’t been diligent about writing, but mostly because I have so much to say because I haven’t been writing!

I will post a few times over the next day – it is my number one priority until I catch you all up. I will start with a tiyul I went on a few weeks ago with Pardes.

First of all, I need to explain something about life here, for me at least, in the Holy Land. It is so important to get out of Jerusalem with regularity. It is believed by many to be the key to maintaining your sanity. Maybe it is because the country in general is so small or maybe it is that pardes is a small anglo community within a small anglo community in Jerusalem – and it is hard to break out of it. I mean, Israelis don’t want their friends leaving every few years or so…but as my Hebrew gets better I am enjoying more and more opening up to other communities. I must stress though, just so that there are no illusions, that I do not live an Israeli life. I am not a citizen, I do not work, I do not belong to the national labor union, I do not receive national health care, I did not serve in the army, I have not made aliyah, I do not serve in miluim (army reserve – although I don’t know if I would cause I am a women…hmmm…more proof that I am living as an American in Canada). I don’t feel like I am at home. I feel like I could if I wanted to. If I chose to make aliyah, I think I would be able to become part of Israeli society. But as I am now, there is no way. I bring this up because people all the time ask if you have and if you will make aliyah. I say with (strong but not complete) certainty that no, I will not. I don’t need to get into details, but for now all I will say is that I never felt like as much of a foreigner in Canada even though I lived in a place where I spoke the language infinitely less than I speak the language here. This is another world. This world is at once shocking, beautiful and shameful. I love it, but it is not home. For why I tell you all this, see what I say later…


We left at 5 in the morning and headed right out to the south of Israel – desert! There are three deserts in the south of Israel – the Aravah, the Judean Desert and the Negev. Often the entire region is referred to as the Negev. I was there for three days and two nights. About 75 people went on the tiyul. We took three major hikes ranging from 3-8 hours. It was a lot of fun jumping from here to there on boulders the size of houses, through wadis (dry river-beds), through what was left of the latest rain storm that had seeped down from Jerusalem and the Judean hills, up mountains, singing songs, learning about Israel’s geography, more, more, more.

On the first day I chose to do the more strenuous hike, but it was totally pleasant because it was a hazy, cool day – I remember it being a lot more intense when I was there last and when I hiked there as a teenager. Of course, I was there in July. Two of the three days were cool and chill weather. The third day was a different story – and that was the eight hour hike. So on that first day we hiked an area called the machtesh hagadol – the big crater. It was formed by mountains slowly pulling away from each other and collapsing to form a giant crater in the middle of the desert. What is funny is that it isn’t actually the biggest crater – it is the second biggest… We hiked up a part called the snapir – the fin – it is a thin shelf that resembles…a fin:). There are amazing views on both sides and the air is easy to breath because you are so low in altitude. As I said, it was cool and there was a dry desert breeze all day. When we reached the top we looked out over the Aravah and the Negev. Then we got a lesson as to how the the machtesh was formed…the picture of me and three other cute ladies sprawled out on the desert floor was us being human props (in this case, sandstone that played a part in the eventual collapse of the mountains to form the crater, like I described above). To one side the sand was colored yellow, red and other colors…it was really beautiful. Apparently there are Bedouins who come and bottle the sand and sell it to tourists who make “Negev sand” bottles as a keep-sake…there is also extensive mining in the area…the sands are signs of minerals below the surface. It is one of many environmental battles being fought in Israel. See:

http://www.mfa.gov.il/MFA/Archive/Communiques/1997/ERETZ+HAMAKHTESHIM-+NATURE+CONSERVATION+AND+DESERT.htm?DisplayMode=print

It was a very nice hike and I have always enjoyed learning about geology, in a light way at least and that is just what it was. I was happy as a little Jewish nature lover in Israel could be!

That night we toured the first desert outpost in the Negev and learned about Ben Gurion and his dream for the desert. We went to Sde Boker, where David Ben Gurion (the first prime minister of Israel) is buried…the view is breathtaking and what is amazing is that from that area you can see Jordan (not the amazing part) and you can see that Israel has shared its technology with Jordan to “make the desert bloom”. That is a key piece of Zionist propaganda…so learn it well, folks. It is true, the desert is blooming. And I am not sure how I feel about it. I have friends who are against it – what right does a country in one of the most water thirsty places on earth have to make a desert bloom? But I did learn some interesting things: the water they use is saline water and they have discovered that certain things like this seemingly inhospitable water-supply such as olive trees. I also learned (propaganda? I am not sure…) that when the delegation came from the UN to see what should happen to British Mandate Palestine, they decided to give the Negev over to the Jews because their minds were completely blown away by what in just a few years the Jews had done (under the auspices of being “research outposts” – which they were but in large part because they wanted to settle the area and get a foothold there for what they imagined were coming hostilities from increasingly hostile neighbors) in what seemed a desert wasteland. This is no simple story I am thinking. And yet there is truth to environmental criticisms of Israel’s development of the area and its use of the resources found there. Another example is the Dead Sea Works. It apparently used to be a state owned industry, but is now owned by a single Israeli family. Its actions are causing increasing environmental damage to the area…of course this ensuing damage isn’t helped by large scale diversion and damning of water sources further upstream on the Jordan River. For the time being, until convinced otherwise at least, I won’t be bringing all of you home presents from the Dead Sea Works (they sell lots of lotions and other beauty/cosmetic products. For information about the ecological damage being caused, here is something to read:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/18/AR2005051802400_pf.html

So…we finished our hike and our tour of a museum of early settlements in the area and the history lesson that accompanied them. Right or wrong, the early settlers were entirely courageous and devoted to their cause. Deep passion is always an amazing thing to see. I feel empowered to follow a path equally as impassioning to me.

We stayed at a kibbutz with Bedouin-like accommodations. We slept outside under the tents. It was quite and cold. You could see more stars than you ever thought you could. There was also a jacuzzi…jeez….a jacuzzi in a Bedouin tent…funny world.

The next day we started with a Bedouin tracker (Bedouins are Arab tribes that live nomadic lives and travel between many countries of the Middle East) out in the middle of the desert. He taught us how to read some basic tracks and how to see the age of tracks left behind. I learned that many Bedouins who serve in the Israeli military do so as trackers – they are experts at it because they have grown up in pastoral communities and are used to tracking their animals all over the deserts from Egypt, Jordan, Israel, etc. We spoke to him for a few minutes and learned his story and then we sent some of our classmates out into the desert to be tracked! It was really cool to see where they had intentionally walked on the river bed to avoid being seen, when they had had an accidental footprint in the sand and ground that let us stay on their trail. (Side note, we also learned that these people, who are an immense asset to Israel as it monitors its borders from its enemies, were also used by the US military to train its own forces to detect such things in its war here in the Middle East…not something I am proud of really to begin with, but it is an interesting fact…) We did find everyone and the one picture of me down below with the desert spreading out to either side of me was taken there.

We then had a hike on an area called Maale Perez – a hike through the Negev desert, which ended up leading to a place where the three deserts meet…the Negev, the Judean and the Aravah. It was a beautiful crisp cool day and I had fun on this hike, which was way up high, looking down into a wadi that has been formed over thousands of years by flash floods through the area. I learned that the markers in Israel, in the south at least as I have figured out so far, make it easy to see if you are in a flash flood pathway or not. Very important not to be, cause it is immensely dangerous…these areas are off limits for a few days after it rains in Jerusalem or in the desert (which, obviously, it being a desert and all, happens only a few times a year). The photo that looks like a picture of the gravel at my feet is actually our shadows on the distant wall on the other side of the deep crevice formed by the flash floods – about a football field away or so…and when the sun was in just the right place we could make waving shadows on the other side. I also am putting a picture where you can see the three deserts meeting. I think it is so so beautiful and interesting – you can actually see how the deserts look different. Wow…

The second day we took a short night walk/drive to a lookout point in the Aravah. There were no cars around. There were no lights. The ridges of the small hills that dot the area peaked up at us and I walked through it…easily seeing the way as we were drenched in blue moonlight and being dazzled by the stars as they came out to play with the moon. Our host told us that this is why he lives in the desert. There is no one around – a car every now and then at night…it is absolutely still and quiet and utterly peaceful. I have told you all before, it is also my favorite part of Israel.

The third, and last :(, day we hiked our longest and hardest hike yet and it was MUCH hotter that last day. We hiked along another wadi, and were supposed to do a u-turn and go back through a deep crevice with a combination of treading through murky, muddy water and repelling down a ways down into the depths of the formation caused by the flash floods before coming back out and walking eastward towards the Jordanian border and the Dead Sea…but due to technical difficulties we had to back-track through waist-high (on me:) water to get back out of the deep formation and hike back through the wadi (we had looked at the water from above on a mountain on our way in…so it was still a u-turn kind of thing, but not the repelling business). There were boulders that were the size of houses…pieces of the walls that had been broken off, and some that had been brought by the powerful waters from far away. I really enjoyed our hike back to the start of the hike as we hopped from rock to rock making lemming noises. I was entirely goofy and silly and happy…and I just LOVE when I get to be that way! As the hike was ending I was having a conversation with my friend Shayna. She was telling me that last year she felt such a strong urge to make aliyah, to move to Israel, but that over the summer she had so many problems being here (from the political to the fact that for her and most Jews from North America their family lives there and not in Israel, and more I am sure). She no longer wanted to make aliyah after how she was feeling this past summer. But now, she said, as she was walking through the majestic beauty of Israel and connecting to the land in a real and physical way, she felt a stronger connection than she had for many months. I told her something then that I have painfully come to realize and struggled to accept over the years since I first came in 1999. Israel is not hikes in the Negev – that is not the life she or most people will lead. Even for those who do we have to also be a part of an imperfect polity that suffers from all of the pitfalls of all the modern nation-states in the world. Israel can commit crimes, its leaders can sexual predators, it can leave its poor and needy begging for help, it can mistreat its foreign workers, it can invent technology to improve the world, it can be an example for co-existence, it can set a good example in any way it chooses to….and the people living here must deal with the consequences when Israel lives up to its potential and it also must deal with the consequences when it does not. Israel is not a hike in the Negev, no matter how much we would like it to be as ideal as that.

It was hard for me to accept that Israel is not ONLY, although it absolutely is in part, the place that I fell in love with when I was a teenager beginning to explore the world and explore my passions. I still love Israel; it is just more complicated now. Here are some pictures of thee days that for myself actually were just a hike in the desert – and were entirely welcomed and enjoyed.

We got back to Jerusalem that evening. I was exhausted but happy to have spent the previous three days almost entirely outside, walking this beautiful country, thinking about showing it my parents. I know they will think it is beautiful too.

Birthday pictures...

that's right folks, i have turned the big 2-3. I had a nice night out with friends, we had a quiet pasta dinner with my chevre and then a larger crowd out for some live Louisiana blues. i don't know which was the best/most amusing part of my day - Israelis singing songs from the American south with their oh-so-adorable accent, or when the Pardes flag football team came out after their game to celebrate with me and i had a uniformed posse...hahahahaha! what a sight. it was a lot of fun and i even made it up for classes the next morning (although, i admit, a few minutes late:)

here are a few picks, from dinner, as i was too busy dancing, having myself some drinks, and livin it up with some pretty cool people. thank you for all the birthday wishes I got from those who sent them. it meant a lot to me, being so far from home and all:). i have a lot to update on school, and i went on a tiyul a few weeks ago to the negev (the desert in the south) which i will give you some pictures and stories from. i know i haven't been good about posting and i am sorry. i send hugs large enough to span the Atlantic...

northern exposure

over sukkot break (yes this was weeka ago and I haven't written about it yet...oops:) I went up north. Now, those pictures I posted before are now labled. so, here i go. this won't be a beautiful piece I have to warn you, but i will bring up highlights, where I went, etc, but i have to wake up too soon to mention to go on a tiyyul in the negev (the desert in the south of Israel) for three days) i am excited for the tiyul, the time with my classmates and the time out of the city, but the 5AM wake up call from my alarm i am not so much looking forward to. anyway...

so, myself and four other pardes students rented a car and set out for the north of Israel...not so far a drive, but we drove through tel aviv on accident and I was navigating through unknown territory so it took a while although it was quite an adventure:) we drove up the coast and got into acco, which is right above haifa on the coast. it is an arab city, but haifa and acco, unlike jerusalem, are very mixed cities where Jews and Arabs are neigbors and their lives are much less segregated. which was a relief to see, to be honest. being in a place like jerusalem which is so very segragated grates on me after a while...well, right away really. one of the hardest things about living here, other than missing things due west, is coming face to face with Israel's not-so-appealing realities, facts, etc. So, we went to acco where there was a theatre festival going on and we drank some wine, watched some acts, and had a grand time being goofy and tipsy:) then we went to our hotel in haifa, about a half hour drive away, when we had to sneak some of our crew into the hotel because we rented one room in that we-are-poor-20-somethings-and-can't-afford-one-room kind of way. we slept in our clost quarters and woke up early for breakfast and our day in haifa. we decided to go to the bahai gardens, which were gorgeous. i learned about the religion, which i knew pretty much nothing about before. walked the gardens and around the shrine of The Bab, an important person in the history of the faith. you can also see it at night, it is lit up in the most ornate and beautiful way...unbelievable...all to give followers a place to go and contemplate.

then we drove to Tiberius, on the other side of the country and about an hours drive from where we were. We ate lunch on the promenade, looking out over the sea of galilee. while we were eating i noticed a boat of people doing funny things that was getting closer and closer to the shore...we soon realized that it was a group of christians singing and dancing...did you know that when the second intifada broke out in 2001 Jewish people visiting Israel plummeted, but the number of Christian tourists didn't? I didn't. Christians apparently love this area and there are groups all year round singin and dancin away. you gotta love their ruach (spirit)!:)

we drove around Tiveria for a while looking for Rabbi Akiva's tomb. It is kinda odd I think. Rabbi Akiba is a great Jewish sage during the time when the Mishna (the first part of the oral law) was codified and written down. His kever overlooks the kinneret and when we were there it was crowded with several groups who were praying there and even - gasp! - kissing the grave....it seemed a bit like avod hazara (idol worship) to me, but if one of yall can explain it to me otherwise I would love to hear your explanations. I will ask my teacher, and if I remember, I will let ya know:).

After that we drove to the top, the northern tip, of the kineret and met up with some other friends from school and otherwise at a park called Jordan park, which is in an area with at least one tributary to the Jordan river. We got there, set up shop, busted out some wine and got silly singing any kind of song you can imagine. the pictures i think tell a better story than i can.

the next day i was the first to wake up and i took a walk around, prayer book in hand. I got to an area that was just letting in a few beams of light in a small open area...and i started to daven (pray). it was peaceful and nice to be praying outside. i went my own pace (which is slow) rather than feeling rushed to get to classes on time and it felt really really good.

after the group was up and packed we headed out for a short hike. we went to a park with several hikes and we did one which took the least effort for the most reward:). it was about a 25 minutes hike and then we came to clean, cold water in a natural spring, complete with waterfall. we spent about an hour swimming and diving in. i got to teach one of my friends how to dive. my first swimming lesson that i tought since 2001....yikes. but he did it...kind of:)

our trip ended later that day with a ride through backroads to tel aviv (we wanted to see more of the country than the highway) and a dip into the mediterranean as the sun set.

for 2.5 days it was more laughter and more exhausting than i had anticipated. we did a lot and my trip mates had me laughing at all times....just the way i like to be:). I REALLY need to hit the sack, but here are some pictures. enjoy!

hugs, kisses, all that good stuff.

I'll start with some pictures.

I am struggling to find time to tell ya'll about my trip up north a few weeks ago and I also had a wonderful weekend that I need to dish as well. I just loaded my pics from the trip onto my computer, so let's start with those. I went with four friends from school. We rented a car and went on what I will call a "whirlwind tour of the North" in retrospect:) I had tons of fun and I can't wait to do it again with my parents in December and then with my Hells Bells when she comes to live it up in the holy land this July. BTW, if any of you other beloveds of mine feel like paying me a visit I promise to make it worth your while:) Anyway, here are some of the pictures of my escapades. Explanation to follow in the coming days. Hugs. And some kisses too maybe, depending on who you are:) My Chicken Little (i.e. my niece) totally gets some kisses.



mmmm...corn....in acco...



snake charmer...although really i didn't think he was such a charmer myself... :^P







the Bahai gardens in haifa...






the bumper sticker on the back of our rental car which says, "tell me, what is more sweet than a page of talmud (oral law)?" amusing, no?:)

I woke up this morning.

Some days this feels like more of a miracle than others. My night fighting fever and feeling like I needed to visit the shirutim (bathroom – I hope you all enjoy your regular Hebrew vocab sessions on my blog:) made this morning feel particularly miraculous.

You all know those “big questions”? Why we were given time on earth? What are we to accomplish? What am I going to see today? Etc.

I stumbled the 15 minutes walk to school. Dizzy, with headache and need for more sleep – determined not to miss school.

Most days I don’t know necessarily what it was that was so special about my day, what was different, what will mean the world to me in 20 years although I may not have known it on that day.

So, I showed up at school and we were having a communal breakfast for rosh chodesh. I got here just in time for a short dvar torah by one of my friends. He just got back from the states where he spent time for the holidays, time with his lady friend, and apparently (I learned today) completing his formal conversion process (he was raised in the Reform movement and I assume that his mom isn’t Jewish and he wanted to get Orthodox conversion because he now is an Orthodox Jew). For him this has been a meaningful and important process in which he has felt, in his own words, a “coming home.” Every time there is a simcha (a joy) or a b’racha (a blessing) in someone’s life – such as an engagement, a baby, conversion, etc – the entire community celebrates. It has to be one of my favorite things about being in the community that I have discovered so far. One person’s joy becomes the communities and then because the community finds such joy in it, the person’s celebration and revelry in their own joy is increased. We dance, we sing, we drink l’chaims, we cry, we laugh. The community we are building is so beautiful. But what I found most moving in his d’var (words of Torah) today was how great and obvious was his love for Torah, his love for the Jewish people and how grateful he was to be a part of it. He was overcome with emotion, and not that I wouldn’t have anyways, seeing a friend so overjoyed, but my sick, worn down self was taken aback and overcome with teary-eyed joy.

So, like I said, we never know what the reason is that we wake up in the morning, why we have been given this blessing. But for me, today and 20 years from now, I will remember how this man comes alive when he studies Torah. We sometimes talk about the idea of leaving the beit midrash glowing from the Torah we have just learned. I know that some days I have that glow, and that there are probably many more that I don’t. But my friend is a reminder that we can find beauty and strength in what we do with our lives. My blessing for all you wonderful people in my life is that you have that same glow – no matter what work or play you find in your lives to get you there. Glow away.

Miss you all I do, and love you a whole lot too.

Hugs.

Sukkot In Jerusalem.

Sukkot falls a few days after Yom Kippur. This has to be one of the stranger holidays...we build temporary structures no matter where in the world (if that means you have to sit in the sukkah with your feet covered in snow then so be it!) we Jews find ourselves and live, literally, in the sukkah for a week. We are supposed to eat in it, sleep in it, learn in it...we are supposed to feel the temporary nature of the dwellings of the Israelites during their 40 years in the desert. It is also one of the three pilgrimage festivals to Jerusalem. I helped to build the Pardes sukkah this year, which was fun and was actually my first time building one. Also my first year sleeping in one - on erev chag, the first night of sukkot (a seven day holiday in Israel). The only day that is actually a holiday is the first and then there is a period called chol hamo'ed. I had both of the meals for chag at teachers' houses. for lunch i went to my rosh yeshiva's house where I stayed this summer - it was my first time being back since i moved out and it was nice to see them all. and the food was GOOD. We were asked to share a memory of a year past in a sukkah, or involving sukkot. I shared these two things:

First...
I don't remember much about my time in religious school when I was younger. But I do remember going to the sukkah each year with my class and taking class trips to someone's house in my class to eat in a sukkah.

Second...
Never in my life before last year had I eaten in a sukkah with my parents until last year. I was working at A.H.A and they happened to come that week. I am not sure but I think it may have been there first time eating in a sukkah. I didn't think about that fact until I was asked to remember a memory from past years. I don't think I recognized what a holy moment it was last fall, but it was. i heart you mom and pops.

So, I spent the chag at shira chadasha, eating at my teachers' houses and enjoying time in sukkot. word.

After the holiday I mentioned that there is a period called chol hamo'ed. people often travel during this time, many many people in Israel have break from work in some length during this week or so. At the beginning of the week I spent one evening out at my teacher's house in Efrat - in an area called gush etzion. It is a common thing to be invited all week for several meals to the sukkot of family and friends. The teachers know this and so many classes were invited out to the area because several of the teachers live out there. It was another one of those "look, don't judge experiences" because it in the settlements, like t'koa which i visited in the summer. It is an area that has gone back and forth between the Arabs and the Israelis but has been in Israeli hands since 1967. We took a hike on a road called 'the road of the patriarchs' where we saw an ancient mikvah (ritual bath) that is believed to have been used by pilgrims to Jerusalem during the pilgrimage holidays, and a roman mile marker as the road was later used by the romans. We saw a beautiful sunset over the Jerusalem hills and the Judean hills and then had dinner at my teacher's house. Most of my class was there and it was our first outing together as a class not involving school so it was a really nice treat. Take a look at the pics below - they are all from the trip to Efrat.

The next day I went up north for a few days trip with a group of friends...it was a freakin awesome time and I can't wait to tell you about it...tomorrow:) I am heading out to a rosh chodesh bonfire (a holiday every month that marks and celebrates the beginning of the month in the Jewish calendar). things to drink, people to see, guitars to play, fun to be had - I better get to it.

*virtual lovin is being send from this side of the world to all you in the america north. take it, enjoy it, send it back*





Judean Hills



Arab Famer and his son walking their field - the population is mixed out there - Arab and Jewish settlements next to each other...









Roman mile marker







feel like a trip to ritual purity on the way as you make pilgrimage to J-town, I've got just the place....








Judean hills. Sunset.





My class:)







our hike. the sun.

Jump down, turn around, prune a tomato plant?!?

So, this is installment numero uno of my travels over sukkot break. Keep an eye out for more posts, pics, etc.

A few months ago I went to a shabbas lunch of a member of my local favorite minyan - shira chadasha. She is in her 50s and has two teenage daughters that are amazing girls. I went with my friend marni and crashed on the weekly hospitality offered by rotating members of the community. Marni said these women were really cool and so we agreed to pass on the picnic lunch we had planned together and went instead to their house in Old Katamon.

I ended up sitting next to one of the girls - Meytal. We got to talking about her school, her activities, my school, and in the twists and turns of our conversation she learned that I was looking for an opportunity to find a cheap way to volunteer my time for a few days over sukkot – de festival of de booths. So I found out about a family that was in need of some help. They live in Shekef. It is a small moshav (community) near Kiryat Gat. Kiryat Gat is on the way to Beer Sheva and is about an hour drive from Jerusalem. They were one of the families affected by the disengagement last summer from Gaza. No matter what my political leanings are or were toward the disengagement I have heard some sad stories about people not receiving what they were promised from the government in many cases. While this family was given land they weren’t given any guarantee that they could stay there and probably will have to move in the coming years. They are farmers and are establishing their new hot houses. They grow grapes for eating, for export and they also grow cherry tomatoes and bell peppers for export. They are having difficulties establishing their hot houses and so two frinds and I went to Shekef to help.

We left Jerusalem at 5AM for Shekef and arrived after a few windy hours on a few buses at Shekef. We got dropped off on a street corner and called our hosts for a ride to the hot houses. After only a few minutes hanging out playing with a resident dog on the corner our ride came and we were brought right to work. We were given work in the cherry tomato hot house. We spent the day until 5pm pruning the tomato vines. Farming – hard.

On the way home we got to spend a bit of time with the Thai workers (there are MANY of them in Israel and especially working in agriculture – they took over after a lot of Arab workers couldn’t get to work anymore after the intifada started – I think that’s the story anyway). The guy who drove us, one of the owners if the hot houses, called them “Thailand” which my friends and I found a bit off at first, but then they seemed to call themselves that and it was a firm reminder to me to look and look and look and probably never to judge because I can’t understand the intricacies of this place no matter how hard I try.

Thailand were dropped off first at their rooms and then we were taken to another area of the moshav to sleep. We had a whole little trailer/house to ourselves. The houses all around us were very new and there was building going on everywhere – all of the people living in this area were new arrivals after the disengagement. All of the homes looked the same. There was a gate around the community. I wouldn’t chose to live in a place like that in the states if I could help it, kinda odd to choose to be in one now but such is life I guess. Anyway the digs were great and we even had a shower to wash the yellow-green (depending on the light) pollen that was caked onto our clothes and bodies – seriously, it was even snowing from my eyebrows with pollen.

The guys who were hosting us told us over and over about their makolet (corner store-ish), or one might call it a bodega if you were in NYC or a dep in Montreal, etc. So, we decided to check out the local hot spot. Curious thing number 2: there was an entire aisle in the makolet of Thai products. You could hear more Thai than Hebrew or Arabic. It is just funny to think about the original ideals of many early Zionist thinkers – that labor should be Jewish, self reliance perhaps.

We ate ice cream, food, and milkies (a strange Israeli pudding-whipped crème thing) and laughed our way home almost walking off a cliff…an adventure indeed.

Up at 5AM. Drive to hot houses. Eat. Pray. Work all day. Make funny home videos during our breaks. Collect the victims of our work – the tomatoes that fell off the vines as we pruned. Take bus home. Feel good that we helped – even if just a little.

This was instillation one from my sukkot break. Number 2: Sukkot (festival of booths baby!) in Jerusalem!

Much love from a little woman.

huh? WTF is she doing?!

Tune in later (but i just got word that i am going to a concert tonight at the dead sea - shlomo artzi! So, i might not be posting tonight depending on when i get home - so if not then tomorrow you'll learn about my recent, if not latest as my life is rediculously wonderfully crazy here in eretz yisrael, adventure as a farmer...

Yom Kippur - yom ofanaim??

Rosh Hashanah was not so meaningful for me this year. I had a hard time getting into the holiday, as i mentioned before. The main reasons were that the first minyan that i went to had no spirit, no yirah, there was no power there. I was also overwhelmed a bit by the 4 3-5 hour meals that i had over the course of two days. it was wonderful company, but seriously it was eat, pray, sleep, eat sleep, pray. it was intense. i was determined to be in a better state for yom kippur.

i did slichot, a service done from about a week before rosh hashanah until yom kippur where we ask for forgiveness for our less then stellar behavior, most days. I did some study by myself about the chag (holiday). I spoke to friends and family and spent hours asking for forgiveness and making amends. I tried hard, me says. It worked, as far as i can tell.

I went to services on erev yom kippur and was pleasantly suprised by my minyan selection. I went to something called the Lieder Minyan. It was crowded, but i got there early enough that i could get a seat within earshot of the chazan. The prayers were said slowly and powerfully. I had no trouble following along and participating. My studying paid off because i wasnt lost while i was davening...i didn't feel entirely comfortable but i did feel ready and able to humble myself and accept and admit my vices, my less proud moments...i find it hard to say the word sin...but i suppose that too. The minyan is known for being one of the more intense in jerusalem. They go on and on...leaving in most of the piyutim (liturgical poems) that are optional...i cant think of the great words to describe it but it was very moving. It is also known as a "hippie minyan", and i am sure that my students last year would be ecstatic to know i went to such a thing because they insisited (some of them:) on calling me the hippie fellow...oy. my fast was difficult, and i only made a half fast...my body can't work like that i tells ya. it was also right across the street from my home, which was an added bonus. Now, i have to tell yall something that happened that day outside of shul - i am sure will stay with my longer (whether or not it should be so...) than my specific thoughts, words, or cavanah (intention) while praying on this yom kuppur. I don't mean to diminish the weight and power of yom kippur...it is the holiest day of the year, but on my walks home from shul i saw things that encapsulate the idea of yom kippur, i think, in Israel.

I walked out of shul erev chag (night od the holiday) to find the streets filled with people. No cars on the road. None. (For better or worse) It is illegal to drive o Yom Kippur. The city stops. It breaths deep and cars literally stop. I thought this was only the case in Jerusalem but a friend in Tel Aviv told me that it is also the case there. No matter if israelis are secular or religious they all experience an entire shift in the country. All the stores are closed - not even a chinese restaurant like christmas, mom and pops! It was wild! It was something that someone living outside of israel can ever experience really. As this place becomes my home i become more and more accustomed to its ways, but this shook my back out of this growing familiarity into new ground once again - in a very pronounced way. It wasn't a negative feeling to be shaken loose from my tenuous comfort...releaving more...i don't want to stop being amazed and observant of this bizzare and beautiful place. And so Yom Kippur has another name that only applies to the holy land - yom ofanaim - day of bicycles. They are all over - bikes, skateboards, skates, everything - everything except cars.

There was one point where i took a break from davening and went outside for a stretch. I was standing on the median of the road when i started to hear a slowly approaching hum. It got louder. And louder. Suddenly i started to see what was making the noise coming down the hill - dozens of skaters on their boards travelling like a flock of birds. Their collective got louder and closer to me and i watched them speed by me. A flock of Jewish skaters taking advantage of the free roads while most everyone was sleeping, praying or spending time with their loved ones. I am not sure if many other people would think so, but i thought it was startiling and unexpected beauty on my day of atonement.

Next installment (hopefully later tonight?): You all may know Chava the songleader, Chava the teacher, Chava the bus driver, Chava the this-that-and-the-other. But now I've gotta tell you about Chava the farmer?!?!?!?!

writing these things is important to me so all you distant-close people will know what is happening with me...but it sure does make me miss you big. Hugs, Laughs, Good Spirits.

change of season.

Over chag, holiday, the seasons seem to have changed. The air has become cooler, crisper. I can wear sweaters at night again. The pomegranates that i saw all over the city only a few weeks ago have been picked, ripe, from their vines. The olives are falling off the trees. There is something calming about feeling the seasons pass - inevitable change - the only thing that we can be sure of.

A year ago I was sitting in Ottawa at my ex-boyfriends house celebrating the holidays in a life that was no longer my own. I remember asking his father, whom i still consider a close friend, how long it would take until the raw pain would subside, the dull ache would fade away, and all that would remain was the appreciation for what was, the Love that was there? A lot of people tried to give me answers to this question...but his was the one that I found most resonated with me. Seasons. We need the seasons to pass - the cycle to complete itself in one complete whole before we can start to feel like ourselves again. You spend the first year saying, "I was here, I was doing this, etc...at this time....with HIM." Maybe I just chose to believe that cause it sounded a hell of a lot better than some people's suggestion that it takes the half life of a the time you loved a person...yeah...2.5 or so years didn't sit so well with me. But we can't expect these things to ever go away...that can't be our goal. forgetting the pain ever existed is just as bad as forgetting all the uplifting joy that came with it...one package....seasons that come together in their natural state and cannot be separated.

It has been a full cycle of the seasons now and I am finally feeling that I am coming back to myself again…last year at this time I was single. Just me. That’s wonderful for now.

* * * * * * *

Shana Tova! Happy New year to all my Yids out there. It is time for teshuva, repentance. Time to say sorry, I missed the mark, I can do better. I can’t say it hasn’t been a difficult mindset for me to get into this year. But its gotta be a sign that you need some serious teshuva (returning, literally) when you can’t get into the mood…maybe it just seems too hard so I want to avoid it altogether.

Since I began praying regularly a year ago I have come to feel a deep connection to the central part of the Jewish prayer service, the Amidah. Particularly I appreciate the chance I get three times a day to do teshuva (part of the Amidah)…a constant opportunity and responsibility to check my relationship with the world and my relationship with that Something Bigger. I bring this up because I find it hard to do all that retrospection at once. I feel like I am not so good at crunch repentance…more of a distance runner here it seems. But there is this idea that God listens more during these “Days of Repentance”. The gates of heaven swing open, fly off their hinges and God is especially ready to hear our repentance. But what about the rest of the year? If humans are in the image of God then should we be more prepared to accept teshuva from others than during the rest of the year? That doesn’t seem right to me…I can’t function that way.

I haven’t found a good answer for this yet, but please let me know if you’ve got one.

So, this past weekend was Rosh Hashannah – the new year…but not the first month, it actually falls on the first day (and second depending on your tradition) of the seventh month. It is a celebration of the completion of the creation process, but like most Jewish holidays it really is more than that – more than just one meaning, more than just one point to which you can connect. It is also a chance to wake up, to start new. It marks the beginning of a new year, we are able to start fresh, become the person that we want to be…it is always relieving for me to feel Rosh Hashanah’s approach, to know that my time to start again is here. But this too is a little problematic for me…what if you realize 6 months after the holiday that you need to have such a self-evaluation and change….it is not enough to believe that there is only one time of year when this is expected or possible or to have it be the only time of year where you consider such things…granted that Judaism expects us to think of it all is pretty amazing….but at times its conception of this process leaves me a little wanting…

That being said, I am tired and one thing that I need to work a little harder at is treating my body better with more veggies and more sleep…the cold I have at the moment can testify to that…

In the spirit of this time of teshuva, let me say that if I have caused any of you, my family and friends, pain, grief, sorrow, etc, I sincerely apologize and I hope that I have addressed it specifically with you and if I have not then please let me know…I may not be aware of my actions as I often am not…and it is never my goal to do anything other than bring you all joy, laughter and hope.

Have a year full of blessing and joy.

P.S. – I live in Jerusalem, just thought I would remind you all, and me as well, that I call this place home now….crazy….i still pinch myself sometimes to make sure it’s all true.

pictures, pictures!

here are some pictures from my trip to the dead sea a few weeks ago. my friend Jessie and I stayed at the youth hostel in ein gedi for a night over shabbas. it was the day before school started and it was a really nice get away before the mad hours at yeshiva started - i am realizing how sweet it was now that i find myself at school often for 10 hours a day or more...but don't think i am complaining, cause i am not...it is amazing i tell ya. by the way, i studied my first page of talmud (oral torah/law) today...it was pretty special.