a state of harmony and discord.

I have made some major changes to my schedule after realizing that I didn’t want to go to several of my classes most of the time and that I didn’t have time to devote enough of myself to where I felt I needed to. I went from the third level to the second – I like the teaching methods of the teachers better and I can actually take time to chew on the bigger questions they pose rather than spending the whole time translating. One of my previous teachers wasn’t willing to try to bring the class to a common ground – to meet in the middle so to speak – so I decided to take my own steps to get it into a middle ground – I took myself out of it. I was for sure on the lower end of the spectrum of experience with text. I am happy for it. I was passed out in bed yesterday at about 7:45 and was fully set on staying in bed and getting to school late…I am getting more and more exhausted as the year progresses….but then I remembered what we had talked about last class and I knew we were continuing. I felt like I was left sitting on the edge of my chair last time and the thought of missing Torah roused me quickly and energetically out of bed! My days here are long, as I might have said, but they are getting better by the day. I also stopped taking one of my one-hour pre-lunch classes so I can work on my Hebrew ulpan homework. I read a passage by Amos Oz in Hebrew this week…he is a very famous Israeli author who has many books, and many (all?) translated into English. I could hardly believe that I could do it…

So, things have gotten a lot better in my spirit and my classes these days….here are some things I learned recently that you might find interesting…just to give you a taste of the breadth of my lessons during the day…

A chasidic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasidic_Judaism) niggun traditionally has three parts.

Most sources in Jewish law (a rich literature, called halacha, in and of its own right that includes sources that have responded to the needs of the Jewish people and its questions about any issue that you can imagine…it includes everything from the Bible, Oral Torah, and on down through history) conclude that women are obligated in prayer. The significance of that discussion is that if they are of equal obligation to men (which many, if not most, sources of traditional Jewish law hold they are) then they can lead prayer. The question is then why traditional forms of Judaism don’t have this as their normative practice.

In Torah there is a strong connection/parallel between the garden of eden and the Mishkan/Tabernacle where the priests made sacrifices to God. In Genesis 3 the first man and women are kicked out of the garden for eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Angels/cherubim are placed on the outside of the garden (east of eden…sound familiar to anyone?:) to guard it because humans can no longer be trusted and they are no longer allowed to eat of the tree of life. Radak (one of the commentators that I often am assigned to read) says that they are placed there to bring the humans to do teshuva (repentance). He says it works…and that they are then sometimes allowed back in the garden and sometimes they are not. I was not so convinced or happy with this idea. I think of teshuva as something which brings you to a new place…not something which brings you back to who you were. The process of erring and then doing teshuva, literally “returning” to a good way, does not mean you go back to being the same person…but someone who has changed for the better…is made improved through this difficult process. But another idea that was brought by my teacher made it a much more feasible explanation: in a later book, Ezekiel, there is imagery that compares the tabernacle to the garden of eden. I won’t get into all the details now, but just one example: in the center of the garden is the tree of life…there is increasing holiness: the earth, the garden, the tree of life. And so it is in the tabernacle – in the center of the mishkan is the holy of holys which houses the ark in which sits the ten commandments and the earthly heaven of God….big ideas yes…but the main point I want to show is that the temple, and the mishkan before it and I would say even by extension modern shuls today, are human ways of recreating the ideal which was lost…by creating these spaces we try to get back to the ideal, back to eden. It is the idea of human ability to create holiness, to find holiness, to dwell in holiness – by our own actions and intent – that I find moving. I haven’t thought about it very very deeply yet, but it seems like another motif, another theme that runs the course of Jewish experience; I think it as strong a motif as redemption, freedom, struggle, wandering, justice, mercy, returning…the list could extend on I know.

Just a few thoughts from one of my days. I have found it hard to write because so much happens every day…and I don’t mean I am running from place to place, but that my mind is. A friend of mine this week gave a 5 minute speech about his Jewish hero and one thing he said I also feel very strongly…that while he can’t say he has one in particular…there are Jewish heroes made in front of my eyes every day when I study…a day doesn’t pass when I am not amazed at the insights of my peers, when my teachers don’t weave a lesson that leaves my mind humming until the next chord is struck…all humming along in beautiful unison and harmony and sometimes even discord...until they fades with my consciousness as I fall of to sleep. And to sleep, dear beloved ones, is where I head now. The talmud says that sleep is 1/60 of death...funny, eh?

WARNING: I AM TOO TIRED TO EDIT, SO I HOPE THIS WAS NOT TO RANDOM:)!