I should be sleeping

ulpan is keeping me busy, and i started working as a volunteer at the Task Force on Human Trafficking, here in Jerusalem. For now I am working on design and layout for some of their publications. I am enjoying it so far. Cool office...by cool i mean literally cool, it is actually a dirty basement room, but hey, its an ngo so whats to be expected? I dig it - quiet and very close to where my long term place will be. For now all i have done is learn how to use the publishing program on my mac because publisher, which i have always used in the past, isnt compatible with mac...but i already am starting to like this new program a lot..it is fun to be playing around with it.

i am enjoying my ulpan...it is certainly challenging. I try to write down the words I dont know, and am able to catch, but I am not always successful. By the end of class I feel totally overloaded and I spend hours every day processing what has been thrown at me. I always love a challenge though...of this sort anyway. the teachers are ok - one talks too fast and one too slow - but i have already been using what i have learned so far. I try to use the new words I am learning. For now though I spend most of my life in English. But no english at all in my ulpan level...oy.

i am continuing my life of migration tomorrow – bouncing around for a week and then a flat for a month and then my long term digs. I am not so much looking forward to the one week place though. I am very fond of my friend who is helping me out, that isnt the issue, but i dont like feeling like i am imposing. I guess all i can do is be quiet and clean and sleep outside of the house whenever possible...it is only a week...

my mind, outside of studying Hebrew, has largely been occupied of late by thoughts of men, what i need and what i want. this was further reinforced tonight as i had a conversation with a great guy that i have been spending quite a bit of time with. after our hearts are ripped out, stomped on and thrown into the garbage....or something less dramatic perhaps.......when is it time to try again? How do we let go of what was? Lots of you out there have warned me time and time again to be cautious, to take my time to heal. but can't i date already? It has been so many months of giving myself time, space, tlc, etc. i want to put my heart out there again...even though i am a little nervous to be sure. I suppose each person has to make up their own mind about when to jump back in the game. In the mean time i am enjoying the company i keep, and i hope to maybe keep it longer...

i never cease to be amazed about how much of life is in the timing. and now, it is time to head to sleep.

I am safe, i am extremely happy, and i am making the most of my time here in the holy land. laila tov ya'll.